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Alter Egos - I Am Done Watching This

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Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Rewriting is Such a Rotter - Enid Blyton said lazily

"Oh pooh pooh (See Rewriting - Wipe Your Chin Discreetly), Cartie is such a whinger."

"Enid?" Dead Beat holds the phone away from his ear.

"Yes of course, Dead Beat, Enid says grinning loudly."

"I was expecting your call."

"I should say you were. Cartie and all that, she's such a rotter. Twenty short stories before supper! Enid says in exasperation."

"So what was your writing pattern? Jolly Dead Beat beams."

"It was rather queer really, Enid said lazily. After some smashing home-made ice-cream, I would sit at my desk and bang my pen down on it with a dull thud. I would usually stop at that point for my extra special cherry tarts or some hot buttered scones with cream. Then I would begin to write, Enid grins from ear to ear."

"That sounds wonderful, Dead Beat exhorts."

"No, Dead Beat, children do not exhort. Absolutely no exhoration. No wonder you sell so little."

"That sounds wonderful, Dead Beat exclaims?"

"Oh Dead Beat, you cause me to despair. Children do not exclaim either."

Dead Beat is miffed. "My children exhort," he says with a scowl. "My children exclaim," he huffs.

"Then Dead Beat, they are not children at all, most probably they are deviant uncles and aunts, Enid says firmly."

"Tell me about your rewriting process, Enid? Dead Beat demands angrily.

"Dead Beat, Enid scorns, children do not need to be rewritten, they are always right."

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