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Alter Egos - I Am Done Watching This

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Thursday, January 31, 2008

If I Did Say What I said, I Didn't Say It

Dead Beat as you know has a passing interest in the use of language. Whenever he needs any help at all you know who he turns to - the great wordsmith himself - that's right Patrick Bartholomew, director of CelticTigerLand.

So at a loss for words yesterday, he enrols in DoubleSpeak 101.

"So P.B. do you have a tax bill arising from the , ah, 'dig-outs'?"

"Now Dead Beat, The position taken by the Revenue is that they can't finalise it until Mahon's work is finished. I mean, that's fine by me. I have no difficulty with that, I have no difficulty with the Revenue position."

"Got you, P.B. Now what did you really mean to say?"

"It is not correct -- if I said so I wasn't correct. I can't recall if I did say it. But I did not say, or if I did say it, I didn't mean to say it, that these issues could not be dealt with until the end of the Mahon Tribunal."

"Got you again. Or maybe I haven't got you, but if I have, I am sure I have you all wrong if that is correct at all."

Monday, January 21, 2008

The Spiritually Bankrupt and The Utterly Tedious

The Stuckists of course are committed not just to painting but to writing also. A few things they have to say:

"There is popular writing known as the blockbuster or airport novel but this is considered trash by the critics. Then there is the writing by pseudo-intellectuals which is very popular with the critics but considered even worse trash by us.

Contemporary writing is cowardly and unchallenging because squalor is tedious not remarkable. If you find yourself in a rubbish bin the only interesting narrative is how to climb out, not how ill you can make yourself by ingesting it.

The writer can only write what he knows about him/her self. To develop as a writer you must develop as a person.

In any period that the writer lives he/she has to say the wrong thing to get it right.

One of the worst things a writer can do is conceive of themselves as a writer whilst writing. The best writing is written by human beings. Besides what kind of an idiot would want to be anything other than a human being? (This is especially true of poetry and poets).

The main advantage of contemporary literature over current established visual art is that it attracts less media attention and is therefore easier to ignore.

On inspection there would appear to be fewer problems with contemporary writing than with contemporary visual arts, but both have the problem of being spiritually bankrupt. (Except poetry, which on the whole has the problem of being utterly tedious).

Monday, January 14, 2008

Last Chance Saloon - The Husband Will do As He's Told

Dead Beat is in mourning.

According to the Vintners Federation of Ireland (VFI), more than 1,000 rural pubs have closed in the last four years. VFI president Paul Stevenson called on publicans to introduce a range of changes, such as providing ethnic food to attract immigrants and turning their premises into internet cafes during the daytime. "I think the day of standing behind your counter expecting customers to come in is finished. The pub is now in the hospitality industry. We have to realise that and move on." He also said that traditional pubs should look into making their function rooms available for dance classes, choir practice and even school homework clubs. It was also in their interest to provide a better range of wines for women because "the female will choose the pub to go to, and the husband will do as he's told."

What's that Mrs. Dead Beat?.... Why yes of course...

Monday, January 07, 2008

Get Stuck In

So Dead Beat is still stuck on Stuckism. Over Christmas he's been reading the Stuckist manifesto for light reading. Charles Thompson even popped in to say "You’re welcome."

Got an hour or two to spare, finished all those Best Novels of the Year, wondering what to read next... Get stuck in.