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Alter Egos - I Am Done Watching This

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Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Horace's Od(e)ious Gossip Column - Bob Shacochis is a Scallywag

Dead Beat was getting concerned. Horace was missing from the tool shed. The door was flung open but no wild expositories.

"Greece, Rome?" Hudson suggests.

But lo and behold I hear him wandering up the lane late at night muttering to himself, "Few cross the river of time and are able to reach non-being. Most of them run up and down only on this side of the river. But those who when they know the law follow the path of the law, they shall reach the other shore and go beyond the realm of death..."

"You Horace?"

" Great effort is required to arrest decay and restore vigor. One must exercise proper deliberation, plan carefully before making a move, and be alert in guarding against relapse following a renaissance..."

"Yeah, it's you."

Turns out he has been attending the AWP (Association of Writers and Writing Programs) Conference in Atlanta, Georgia. Bob Shacochis no less running a panel on: Literary Gossip: Do's and Don'ts. Salon C 2nd Floor.

"If you don't have anything nice to say, sit by me," Dorothy Parker supposedly said. Gossip can hurt, and yet who can resist it? Certainly not writers. Is gossip always backbiting and character assassination, or is it really just talk about people, talk that is interesting and honest? Why aren't men said to gossip? Certainly they do. Panelists provide infamous examples of literary gossip and discuss how to transform scandal into engaging fiction. Is living well- and writing well-the best revenge?

"So what did you learn Horace?"

"Yon Shacochis is a scallywag."

"Yup. What else?"

"Good sense is both the first principal and the parent source of good writing."

"You're bluffing, Horace. You didn't learn that from B.S."

"Geraldo Rivera is Kurt Vonnegut's ex-son in law."

"Now you're talking my language. What's the scoop on Bobby himself? How many brewskis?"

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