If Hudson Did It, Here's How It Happened

So Dead Beat goes into the library and there Hudson is sitting at Dead Beat's writing desk.

"What now, Hudson?"

Hudson puts down his cigar, licks his pencil. "I'm writing a new book."

"Oh yeah, what's it called?"

"If Hudson Did It, Here's How It Happened."

"Hudson, what are you telling me?"

"That pee stain on your Persian rug."

"HUDSON!"

"Calm down, Dead Beat, it's not a confession."