I Haven't Practised Regularly in Decades

Dead Beat already loves it: An Italian architect said he is poised to start construction on a new skyscraper in Dubai that will be "the world's first building in motion," an 80-storey tower with revolving floors that give it an ever-shifting shape. The spinning floors, hung like rings around an immobile cement core, would offer residents a constantly changing view of the Persian Gulf and the city's futuristic skyline. A few penthouse villas would spin on command using a voice-activated computer. The motion of the rest of the building would be choreographed in patterns that could be altered over time.

Speaking at a news conference in New York on Tuesday, the building's designer, David Fisher, declared that his tower will revolutionize the way skyscrapers are made - a claim that might strike some as excessively bold. Fisher acknowledges that he is not well known, has never built a skyscraper before and hasn't practised architecture regularly in decades.

Way to go, Fisher, D.B. shouts

Shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker, tits

Shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker, tits

The Seven Words You Can Never Say On TV

Take it away George:

I love words. I thank you for hearing my words.
I want to tell you something about words that I think is important.
They're my work, they're my play, they're my passion.
Words are all we have, really. We have thoughts but thoughts are fluid.
then we assign a word to a thought and we're stuck with that word for
that thought, so be careful with words. I like to think that the same
words that hurt can heal, it is a matter of how you pick them.
There are some people that are not into all the words.
There are some that would have you not use certain words.
There are 400,000 words in the English language and there are 7
of them you can't say on television. What a ratio that is.
399,993 to 7. They must really be bad. They'd have to be outrageous
to be seperated from a group that large. All of you over here,you 7,
Bad Words. That's what they told us they were, remember?
"That's a bad word!" No bad words, bad thoughts, bad intentions,
and words. You know the 7, don't you, that you can't say on television?
"Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, CockSucker, MotherFucker, and Tits"
Those are the heavy seven. Those are the ones that'll infect your soul,
curve your spine, and keep the country from winning the war.
"Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, CockSucker, MotherFucker, and Tits"
Wow! ...and Tits doesn't even belong on the list. That is such a friendly
sounding word. It sounds like a nickname, right? "Hey, Tits, come here,
man. Hey Tits, meet Toots. Toots, Tits. Tits, Toots." It sounds like a
snack, doesn't it? Yes, I know, it is a snack. I don't mean your sexist
snack. I mean New Nabisco Tits!, and new Cheese Tits, Corn Tits,
Pizza Tits, Sesame Tits, Onion Tits, Tater Tits. "Betcha Can't Eat Just
One." That's true. I usually switch off. But I mean, that word does
not belong on the list. Actually none of the words belong on the list,
but you can understand why some of them are there. I'm not
completely insensetive to people's feelings. I can understand why
some of those words got on the list, like CockSucker and
MotherFucker. Those are heavyweight words. There is a lot going on
there. Besides the literal translation and the emotional feeling.
I mean, they're just busy words. There's a lot of syllables to contend
with. And those Ks, those are agressive sounds. They just jump out at
you like "coCKsuCKer, motherfuCKer. coCKsuCKer, motherfuCKer."
It's like an assualt on you. We mentioned Shit earlier, and 2 of the
other 4-letter Anglo-Saxon words are Piss and Cunt, which go
together of course. A little accedental humor there. The reason that
Piss and Cunt are on the list is because a long time ago, there were
certain ladies that said "Those are the 2 I am not going to say. I
don't mind Fuck and Shit but 'P' and 'C' are out.", which led to such
stupid sentences as "Okay you fuckers, I'm going to tinckle now."
And, of course, the word Fuck. I don't really, well that's more
accedental humor, I don't wanna get into that now because I think
it takes to long. But I do mean that. I think the word Fuck is a very
imprortant word. It is the beginning of life, yet it is a word we use to
hurt one another quite often. People much wiser than I am said,
"I'd rather have my son watch a film with 2 people making love
than 2 people trying to kill one another. I, of course, can agree. It is
a great sentence. I wish I knew who said it first. I agree with that but
I like to take it a step further. I'd like to substitute the word Fuck for
the word Kill in all of those movie cliches we grew up with. "Okay,
Sherrif, we're gonna Fuck you now, but we're gonna Fuck you slow."
So maybe next year I'll have a whole fuckin' ramp on the N word.
I hope so. Those are the 7 you can never say on television, under any
circumstanses. You just cannot say them ever ever ever. Not even
clinically. You cannot weave them in on the panel with Doc, and Ed,
and Johnny. I mean, it is just impossible. Forget tHose 7. They're out.
But there are some 2-way words, those double-meaning words.
Remember the ones you giggled at in sixth grade? "...And the cock
CROWED 3 times" "Hey, tha cock CROWED 3 times. ha ha ha ha. Hey, it's in
the bible. ha ha ha ha. There are some 2-way words, like it is okay for
Kirk Youdi to say "Roberto Clametti has 2 balls on him.", but he can't
say "I think he hurt his balls on that play, Tony. Don't you? He's holding
them. He must've hurt them, by God." and the other 2-way word that
goes with that one is Prik. It's okay if it happens to your finger. You
can prik your finger but don't finger your prik. No,no.

Sneakers and Cheeseburgers

So I'm shooting the breeze with George Carlin on mass suicide and ecological disaster.

"I sort of gave up on this whole human adventure a long time ago," he said. "Divorced myself from it emotionally. I think the human race has squandered its gift, and I think this country has squandered its promise. I think people in America sold out very cheaply, for sneakers and cheeseburgers. And I don't think it's fixable."

Dead Beat sighs, knows the truth of it.

Damn you George Carlin - May 12 1937- June 22 2008

Dead Beat and George Carlin had a thing going on. And now George has gone on spoiled it by dying. Well damn you George Carlin.

George, in case you young folks have forgotten, practically invented modern stand-up comedy. You know, the stand-up comic as a social commentator, rebel and truth-teller.

He talked about the injustice of Muhammad Ali's banishment from boxing for avoiding the draft — a man whose job was beating people up losing his livelihood because he wouldn't kill people: "He said, 'No, that's where I draw the line. I'll beat 'em up, but I don't want to kill 'em.' And the government said, 'Well, if you won't kill people, we won't let you beat 'em up.'"

George, go to Heaven, kill them up there.

Revelations in the Literary World

"A clampdown on corruption in professional tennis is to be announced on the opening day of Wimbledon, in the wake of revelations that match-fixing and illegal betting are rife.
Investigations ordered by tennis authorities have shown that at least 45 matches played in recent years are under suspicion, as are a number of players, including some of the top international professionals...

...Organised crime poses a serious threat to a cash-rich sport, which attracts hundreds of millions in bets each year. Tennis is considered particularly vulnerable because results can be changed by just one player."

Dead Beat has known it all along. The literary world is a fix. Just one player is approached, writes a series of bad lines and hey presto...!!!

Poor image, woeful metaphor, incredible characters, and the winning prize goes to....

The Business of Writing - Hell's Angels and The Mafia Connection

It's all about the writing, right?

The estate of Godfather author Mario Puzo has launched a lawsuit against Paramount Pictures, claiming the studio owes it royalties from a video game based on Puzo's now-iconic mafia characters.
In court filings this week, the author's son, Anthony Puzo, claims the studio and Electronic Arts created a video game that prominently draws on his father's book and characters, made famous by the subsequent highly acclaimed films. He is seeking at least $1 million US in damages.
In 1992, Mario Puzo and Paramount reached a settlement after the author accused the studio of not meeting its royalties obligations. He died in 1999 and left his estate to his children.
According to the younger Puzo, the 1992 agreement promised the author a "significant share" of revenue from any product that incorporated elements of the saga. A spokeswoman for the studio declined to comment on the lawsuit. In 1969, when Mario Puzo published his novel The Godfather, he was a relatively unknown writer. Paramount approached him to adapt his book to film and ultimately signed him to pen the screenplays of 1972's The Godfather, 1974's The Godfather: Part II and 1990's The Godfather: Part III.

The Business of Writing

Is Jack turning in his grave or is he rubbing his hands with glee and saying, "Yeah, another few literary non-sellers I can publish."

An autobiography of Julie Couillard, the woman at the heart of a scandal involving former foreign affairs minister Maxime Bernier, will be published this fall. The autobiography, to be published in French and English, was announced Friday by both Les Editions de l'Homme, Quebec's largest publishing house, and English Canada's McClelland & Stewart. "Her book will recount a unique life from her modest beginnings in a working-class neighbourhood of Montreal to her spectacular emergence on the national scene last May," McClelland & Stewart said in its release about the autobiography. No terms of the book deal were disclosed.

Bernier resigned as foreign affairs minister in May only hours before Couillard described in a television interview how he had left classified briefing documents for a NATO summit at her Montreal home. The two had recently ended their relationship. It was then revealed that Couillard had been involved with three men who had ties to the Hells Angels, going back to the 1990s. McLelland & Stewart said Couillard would chronicle her life from childhood experiences, through the tragic death of her companion in 1990s biker gang wars, to her meeting with U.S. President George W. Bush while at Bernier's side. "Julie Couillard will reveal the details of a life marked by both tragedy and exhilaration," the release said.